Monday, October 09, 2006

The Spider Diaries - part deux

2 days after I made a new 8 legged friend on my way to work, I had a dream. It wasn't anything earth shattering or revolutionary. No, it was just a simple dream with one simple story line.

In my dream...

I am sharing an apartment with someone. I have no idea who, but there is another person there. I think it's a female.

I am sitting around (probably watching TV, if my dream self is anything like my real self) wearing shorts. My legs are exposed. I look down and catch a glimpse of something dark, just visible on the under side of my right thigh. I crane my neck around and twist my leg forward to see what it is. AGH! It's a spider! A big, hairy, tarantula-like, black spider. I say "tarantula-like" because it was kind of flat. Tarantulas are generally round in the body. This one was flat. I guess it was more like the fake ones you get in CVS that hang from the ceiling.

I immediately flick it off of my leg. It flies a few feet away, and I stand up and jump in the other direction. Of course, this being a dream, the spider disappears. I still feel like it's around, but it's no where to be seen.

To my left is my roommate. She is looking for something in our entry closet. I have no idea what. The mail lady comes into the apartment. She is carrying a box of mail. She pulls out a packet of envelopes that are rubber banded together. She says, "This ones for you" and hands it to my roommate. She pulls out a second bundle for me. She looks back in the box and says, very matter-of-factly, "And, who ordered the spider?"

The spider pops up in the box, propping himself up on top of the rest of the mail in the box by putting his legs on each side of him. He looks around at the three of us, jumps out of the box and starts running around the apartment.

My roommate jumps into action. She manages to trap the spider in something that eventually transforms into a Pringles can. I then jump into action of a different sort. I start searching for people who want to adopt a spider. I put a posting on Craigs List. I start calling people I know. Of course no one I know wants to take a spider. Every couple of minutes I look into the Pringles can to make sure the spider is still there. He is.

I continue my hunt for someone to adopt this furry thing. I look back into the can and in one single move, he whips around, looks at me and smiles. And, not just any smile, either. It's a huge toothy, cheesy grin - the kind you make when you want to exaggerate the point of smiling. He also gives me bug eyes (no pun intended).

Now, I have this big, black, hairy, flat tarantula spider looking at me with the goofiest of faces. In that one moment, the spider became quite endearing. I immediately fall in love with it. I have now accomplished my mission - I found it a home. Mine.

The next day, I was telling my cousin about this dream. She tells me that she had almost the same dream the week before. WHAT THE....?????

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The Spider Diaries

I just had a conversation with a good friend about blogging. I shared my insignificant reservations and he told me just to do it. Of course, he's right. Just do it. So, I'm just doing it. And, what better topic to start off my first blog with a delightful little story about spiders? It is, after all, Halloween Month!!

Here is my little story....

Wednesday morning, I got in my car to head for work. As I backed out of my driveway, I noticed a spider on the outside of my windshield. I chuckled a little and told him it wasn't really such a good idea to hitch a ride with me. Being a spider, and not really understanding English, he stayed right where he was. Oh well. His problem.

As I drive down my block, the spider smartens up slightly and crawls under one of my wiper blades. I congratulate him on the smart move. He stays safely hidden away, guarded from the g-forces of car travel, under my wiper. That is until I get on the highway. As I pick up speed on 135, approaching 50 MPH, he decides to emerge from the relative safety of the wiper blade and travel to the center of my windshield. Clinging to the glass, he manages to make it a good 6 inches while I am now traveling around 55 MPH. He forges on like Admiral Byrd on an expedition to the South Pole. Talk about an adrenaline junkie!!

Now, I am having a full on conversation with this spider. I tell him to go back under the wiper. He doesn't move. Then I realize... he can't. The g-forces are holding him in place. He's plastered to the glass. Legs splayed in eight crooked little directions.

Of course, I was laughing hysterically at this poor little thing. He had no idea what he was in for when he woke up Wednesday morning. I'm sure he was just looking forward to a nice peaceful day of web building and bug eating. Maybe, he just stopped off on my car for a little nap on his way to one of the many spider havens in my backyard. ("Spiders in my Backyard" is a story for another day. And no, it's not a metaphor.)

I'm still traveling along 135 approaching 60 MPH. He's still holding on. I'm now very impressed with his strength and tenacity. I begin to approach my usual cruising speed of about 70 MPH. I can't believe it! Still holding on. I'm watching the spider and not my speedometer. I'm starting to feel an affinity for this thing. I don't want him to flip off of my windshield and go tumbling backward into traffic behind me. I imagine him getting hit by each car - flipping up and over only to be hit by the next car and the next. It's horrible. I want him to make the whole trip with me. Then I see one leg lift up and start to flap around in the wind. A split second later, a second leg. Oh my god!! He's going! "Good bye, fair spider! You gave it your all!"

I look down. I'm doing 75 MPH! Apparently, 75 MPH is the official breaking point of spiders clinging to windshields. I feel bad instantly. Guilty of some nonexistent crime. "Spider Flipping"? "Murder by Wind"? I slow down to about 65 MPH. His legs stop flapping!! PHEW. He's safe. He'll make it. I'm so relieved.

As I drive through the neighborhood near work, I slow down . My new friend is still with me, still clinging for dear life, but with all 8 legs planted firmly on the glass. I'm doing about 15 MPH as I come around the 2nd to last corner. I look at my new friend, and he has turned himself around to face me. He's staring me dead in the face. I feel him swearing at me, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?!?!?" Of course I apologize. (as if I actually did anything wrong)

I tell him to stick around and I'll drive him back home later. By the time I came out for lunch, he was gone. I guess he wasn't up for a second ride on Nielsen Airlines.